Some of us found it difficult to talk about nothing. What you call small-talk or nice-talk.
We don’t quite know how to get started on a conversation without topic. And at the same time you have to signal that you want to be in contact with others, that you are interested and that you are an exciting person.
And when we finally get together to ask an unknown person something, it almost seems like an assault, because we’ve warmed up to that question for so long that we throw it out with all the power we have, without so much as a warming introductory word.
Often you end up standing there alone and stepping over your toes, because you are actually sending a completely wrong signal to the outside world. A signal that one is not one that is contactable. And that is often completely wrong. Because you stand there and use all your energy and profits to be the opposite – you just don’t know how to attack it.
Imagine a conversation – a conversation where it is just that one party of the conversation talks only about a topic that only interests this person or where it is about convincing the other that you know a lot about this particular topic .
The time in such a conversation stops, and if you are one of the “uncontactable”, then it is a journey as a hostage in a subject you do not even know how to get out of – or for that matter should be able to invite in.
Often one also feels stupid compared to the other. Because you don’t necessarily know so much about photography, drone flying, fly fishing, pearl knitting or anything quite fifth. Because you have never had the interest.
A sincere and good conversation is one where both parties have the opportunity to talk and to listen. To invite, to meet, to see and view from multiple angles, to be allowed to agree to disagree.
But you do not get such a conversation if you have become hostage in the drone flight – about which you know nothing.
But what if you have a common interest to talk about? Doesn’t it look completely different to us “uncontactable”?
Well you can believe it does. Because then we can bid, then we have value, then we know something. If the interest is shared then we can meet in the conversation. And if, for a start, you have a common interest to talk about, then you are already well underway.